And bingeing on electricity. It’s hard, it’s so hard, hard, hard, in the land of TVinterernetIceCreamChocolate, to be a good person, in those hours when I get home from work, and read about making birch-baskets, and work on my dance moves, and write stories about important, dry and unglamorous things that move at the speed of life, which is not very fast, nor very bright, at least when you’ve had two thousand bowls of thin-mint ice-cream and nothing is fast enough, or bright enough, and you just want to beat your fists against the wall and scream at the parrot who won’t stop screaming, who screams like a human screams, againandagain and again, and so you do, and then you feel a little bit better. And the parrot cocks his one eye at you, astounded, his emerald colored head-feathers like a wonderful cap from a far-away land, and you open the metal door of his cage with its flaking white paint and fill his bowl with weightless green and red “fruit” pellets, which are, it turns out, made from soybean meal and no fruit at all.
How do you manage it, bird? How do you make feathers from soybean meal?
And you, how do you manage it? How do you make stories from ice-cream?
At the end of this month I will have a paycheck, at the end of next month, another. And then my job will be over, until I find a new one. And I will take my monies and I will go out into the world and I will buy-
-insulation for the sauna, some mats of it, bright yellow stuff, because I have neither vehicle nor motivation to go out and find someone who has sheep, from which I might collect raw wool to pack the walls, nor do I have the patience to gather moss from the forest floor, for the same purpose. Someday, someday. Sheep, chickens, goats, a potbellied pig dragging its belly in the snow, maybe, all of it, none of it. A homestead in Alaska! For now, bright yellow fiberglass from the home depot.
-Then! And Then! A chair, a table, a counter-top. A mat for my bed, which I will build. A small window for the smoke, the insufferable wood-smoke!
-a cutting board of decent size. A grater, too, for grating beets. For salad.
-a blood-sugar test at the doctor. For diabetes. To explain constant thirst, irritability, etc.
-one small tub spirulina/wheat grass powder. For moral.
-one tired head of kale, limp with homesickness. Dear brassica, you’ve come far!
-one tank of gas, owed.
-an amalgam fillings removal-procedure, from a dentist who knows what he’s doing.
-a plane ticket back to Portland, in the fall, to get my things, also to see said dentist, who knows what he’s doing.
-gold caps for all my molars.
-a plane ticket to Mexico, the land of Reasonably Priced Dentistry, where I can get said Gold Caps.
-I’m getting ahead of myself here. It’s just two paychecks.