Reality doesn’t feel like reality anymore, at least the way you’ve always believed reality would feel- like simple goodness and sometimes dark. Instead, reality feels like television static, like electric stormclouds, like the way the water pulls back before a tsunami. Nothing outside of you is good or bad- there is only inside of you. … Continue reading Anxiety

torrential rainfall and the disputed kingdom Protista

It’s been raining torrentially all day- this morning we took the dogs to kelly point park, the superfund site where the metallic Columbia meets the sewage-filled Willamette, and big cold drops began to pelt us as soon as we stepped from the car. We walked along the path through the woods, throwing Emy’s ball before … Continue reading torrential rainfall and the disputed kingdom Protista

the sugar-cone ghost and the freedom of not having possesions

I’m moving. I’m leaving my one-bedroom apartment (which was never really mine, which was, in retrospect, just a beautiful, palatial hole in which to dump wheelbarrow-loads of money that I will never see again) and I’m moving into a sixteen-foot travel trailer that I bought off the internet. I am poor again, and also recently … Continue reading the sugar-cone ghost and the freedom of not having possesions

The Lake

you have so many freckles and your skin smells like chocolate. Last month it smelled like oregano and coffee, but now you smell like chocolate milk chocolate like milk chocolate dust hot chocolate powder eaten by the spoonful dipped in water licked. You are perfect. You do not think that you are perfect because you … Continue reading The Lake

I’m back

It is so strange to be back in the city. It is raining, I cannot ride my bicycle. The air is cold and grey- there is fruit out there, ripening, figs and blackberries, but I do not know how to find them. Last September it was not like this- last September there was long yellow … Continue reading I’m back