I am very grateful for this. It is making me feel like less of a loser right here this moment in the snowy northeast, in this town that is beautiful and foreign and overwhelming and people have no yards and just now, there are new year’s fireworks. I hate new year’s. I hate fireworks. I like being alive and magic and wanting nothing. Not even a future. Not even tomorrow! I have no expectations! I want to live in a land beyond ambition. I want to step through a portal into the land beyond ambition. From whence I have come! But have I left it? And where is there to go? I do not know.