Hayduke trail day 59: zero in Hurricaine

May 15
Mileage: zero

Why not take one last zero, two days before the end of the route? No really though, we need to get Dan’s broken phone figured out. And wait until Monday morning post office hours to get our box. Also, there’s shitty diner food to eat. And I’m really behind on my blog. And these small Utah towns are strange and interesting. Fuck it! We want to zero.

I get my usual 5 restless hours of hotel sleep in a giant, comfortable bed, work on my blog in the pre-dawn dark, and then all five of us (me, Dan, DropNRoll, Joey and Bubs) go out to breakfast at the breakfast buffet across the street. The buffet is kind of awful, but also good, in a gross way. My favorite thing on the buffet is the canned tangerine wedges. I eat four plates of food and feel sick.

Then it’s time for our friends to hitch back to Zion for their bonus traverse. We’d wish them hitching luck, but they always get picked up in like five seconds anyway, ha ha. After they finish in Zion they’ll be biking back to Moab, which is amazing. All the sports!!

Much of the rest of the day is spent sitting on the patch of grass in front of the motel, watching the birds while Dan uses my phone to navigate an endless loop of his phone carrier’s customer support, in an attempt to get a new phone mailed out. The birds, whose names I do not know (Mary? Steve? Bill?) seem to be gathering bits of matter from one kind of tree, and taking this matter back to their nests in another kind of tree. I watch the birds go back and forth, back and forth. After a few hours of this and no broken phone resolution, we set out to walk the wide street that our motel is on, in search of snacks. It’s Sunday, and all of the chain stores in the strip malls are closed. Weird. If I had to describe what I can see of Hurricaine, Utah, I’d call it “a strip mall that’s closed on Sundays.” Arbys is open, though. Seeing Arbys makes me think of Nihilist Arbys Twitter, which I love. I don’t love arbys though.

We get snacks from the grocery store and I lose the rest of the day working on my blog in our motel room. It’s pretty boring. To make it more exciting I don’t wear any clothes and eat seven bowls of cinnamon rice chex. Later there is some television, which is good and reminds me how much I want to write a screenplay. Then more blog until midnight.

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