Hayduke trail day 22: Escalante is spelled Z-E-R-O

April 8
Mileage: zero

Dan and I both wake up with upset digestive systems, presumably from the water we drank in this last section. Mine really hits me when we’re eating breakfast at the local cafe. I’m going to tell you- it was a point of pride for me as a hiker that, before today, I’d never sharted myself. All that changes while I’m tucking into my 3-egg omelet. Luckily, running shorts are easy to wash in restaurant bathrooms.

We both feel pretty weak so we spend most of the day in bed in the motel room, doing errands on our phones and looking for things to watch on the TV. Utah has the whitest commercials I’ve ever seen. Lots of “As an LDS family, I never thought this would happen to us. Talk to your kids about drugs.” Stuff like that. We both consume classic remedies for the dehydration associated with diarrhea- an entire box of chocolate chex with almond milk, for me, and a six pack of beer for Dan. My hunger is enormous. This trail is hard. I’m starting to sound like a broken record. “So hunger! Trail hard!” At some point Dan gets a pizza from the cafe at the outfitter’s next door, and I eat tasty bites I bought at the little health food store. I post too many similar-looking photos on instagram. I wish I could post them here, but I don’t know how to do it from my phone without wordpress taking the quality way down. A storm blows in while we’re chillin- crazy wind and dust and then wham! Petrichor! Rain spattering the window! We’ve had pretty good timing so far with weather. It’s supposed to be cool and cloudy with a bit of rain this next week- sounds really nice to me. Tomorrow we head out into our longest section yet- 140 miles to Tropic, with a cache halfway. If we hike it in 7 days it’ll be the longest I’ve ever gone on a trail between towns. I’m a weenie, I know. Of course, before we can start hiking, we have to get a ride all the way back to the remote trailhead tomorrow. We’ll see what happens!